I seem to have not posted anything substantial as of late. Maybe its the rather long holiday I had last week. Maybe I have something else on my mind, maybe its because I have other more pressing matters on my mind, or maybe I just dont care!
Ive always thought that the blog is a good place to vent your frustrations and anger at the world at large, knowing that the people who read your blog (if any) really doesnt care as well. Think of it like a billboard of sorts, a place where you write down anonymously about what you think and well, er, leave it there. Except in a blog's case, people know who you are, and if you live in harmonious examplary democracies such as Zimbabwe and China, one award winning thought provoking post and you'll be awarded an eternity's stay in their finest gulag. Oh joy.
I realise that lately I have been quite a pessimistic person. Sometimes I dont care. I'm stuck in a rut with my current job, I'm already the lowest paid among the lot, i dont get much benefits, I'm not healthy, I'm not lively, I indulge in too much food due to stress and too little in sports due to the lack of time, I'm not fun - i dont have a clue on what to do most weekends, and I'm living the life of a lone clerk at work, eating lunch alone sometimes due to the lack of similarly minded (and aged) friends at work (not from the lack of trying, trust me). Ever went for a week hoping it'll all go away?
Its easy to blame all on work, but i know it may be a tad unfair to do so. Maybe its me. maybe i am a boring c**t. But what do I care, I'm tired of being optimistic oh-lets-go-to-the-arts-fair-and-watch-a-foreign-arthouse-film kind of person. So what if I want to sit down at the mamak and drown my sorrows with teh ais' (kurang manis). So what if I want to go to La Bodega and just munch on the garlic mushrooms. I may not be a barrel of laughs, but hey, feel free to ignore me if you find me too boring. But what is the cause? The key of solving this mystery is to find the root of the cause. What has eroded my enjoyment of life, what has resulted me to morph into an ogre with a penchant for doing nothing at all. Has 6 months of toil and sheer dissapointment taken away my joyful spirit?
Ok, now with that off my chest, I'm going off to bed. Yes, I am that boring, and to be honest, I am blaming it on my already mentioned raison d' entrende.
Check me up in two weeks time, and see if I'm the same, or am I back to my usual self. If I am jumping for joy and starting to watch arthouse films, maybe what I said above its true.
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adlan
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